Twice in the same day, in two different conversations, brokenness was discussed with me.
In the first conversation I was told that I needed the brokenness I am experiencing.
In the second, brokenness was discussed as a treasure from God.
This is so counter-intuitive. Everything in our life is done to avoid brokenness. We do everything we can to make sure our hearts are not broken. We work hard to avoid failure. It’s survival of the fittest, right? We do what we can to ensure that we are strong, that we are successful, that we are whole.
Brokenness sucks. It hurts. It demands that we acknowledge our own helplessness. It proves that we are not, in fact, as invincible as we thought.
Brokenness is also freeing, though. Brokenness forces me to realize that I am not strong enough, that I really can’t do anything on my own to make myself whole and unaffected by the world. It’s freeing because it isn’t up to me to make things better. It isn’t up to me to fix myself. I am not expected to do anything other than bring my brokenness to the one Person who can and will fix me. This realization, the acceptance that I am broken and that I cannot fix myself, pushes me closer to the only One who can make me whole.
I can tell you out of personal experience that I have never been as close to God as when I have been going through some sort of heartbreak. Never in my life could I say that I have actually felt God holding me except for when I found myself in the fetal position on my bedroom floor, unable to stop sobbing despite the continuous flow of tears that have been forcing their way out my eyes for the past 3 hours (true story…on more than one occasion, I hate to say). There is a level of intimacy that I reached during these terrible, painful times that I never could have reached otherwise.
So, yeah, brokenness really, truly, absolutely stinks. But good can come out of the heartbreak. You learn things about yourself and about life. You find yourself relying on God and not so much on yourself.
It hurts now, but I promise if you hold on to the Healer of broken hearts, you won’t regret it.