Last night was not a good night for me. Regrets and bitterness and brokenness all seemed to catch up to me. I was overwhelmed. I was consumed. I was drowning.
I had been able to keep my head above the waters for so long, but suddenly it seemed I had lost focus, and just as Peter began to drown, so did I. And as Peter cried out to Jesus, “Save me!”, I found myself crying out to my Papa.
The quiet time reading for that day came from Lamentations:
Remember my affliction and roaming,
The wormwood and the gall [bitterness].
My soul still remembers
And sinks within me.
This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”
The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord.
Sometimes our hearts remember the bitterness. Sometimes our souls remember the times we fell and the times we were destitute. Sometimes our souls sink within us.
But we also must also allow ourselves to recall that our God is not just God, but also our Papa, and that He loves us and is faithful and full of compassion.
What is bringing you down? Is it feelings of regret? Feelings of foolishness? Brokenness?
Instead of letting it bring you down, you bring it to the One who is good and who will do only good for you. Be honest. Tell Him you are hurting. Tell Him you are broken. Ask Him, plead with Him, to lift you up and to help your soul seek Him and put your hope in Him. He won’t turn away, trust me.
Never forget that He is merciful and compassionate, and He cares deeply for you.