I Want To Be A Fearless Warrior

I’m sure that somewhere on this site, at some point I have talked about my love for Ruth. But here I am talking about her again. Because here’s the thing, Ruth was one of the most fearless women to walk this earth, and that’s a fact.

Think about it:
-Her husband dies, and when she’s given the opportunity to leave her mother-in-law and restart her life she doesn’t. She decides to stay where things are uncertain, with a woman whose loved ones keep dying. Not exactly what I would call a reassuring position to take.
-When she goes to this completely new country where customs are different from everything she has always known she doesn’t focus on how different everything is. She doesn’t focus on all the adjustments she will have to make. She focuses on her mother-in-law. She focuses on caring for the loved ones in her life. That being said, she goes to a completely foreign field where there are strange men everywhere and she is a vulnerable sole woman in order to provide for Naomi.
-When Naomi directs Ruth to go to Boaz, Ruth doesn’t question her. She obeys Naomi, against all the social customs, and goes into Boaz’s threshing floor and lays herself at his feet and at his mercy. Please try to remember how utterly scandalous this would be in the day and age this is all taking place. What if he decided that what she did was so inappropriate or impure that he would rebuke or shame her or make some sort of example out of her? Or what if that other random relative just decided he was going to marry her instead for the inheritance? So many things could have gone wrong.

Ruth was a warrior. She didn’t just give up when things were difficult or when life didn’t make sense. Instead she decided to pick herself up and follow after a new God and make a new life for herself. She must have seen something in Naomi that convicted her to leave everything she ever knew to follow this widow and her deity. And the moment she put her faith in this conviction, God provided more than she probably imagined.

Clearly Ruth wasn’t just focused on finding a new husband and having a comfortable, “normal” life. She wasn’t focused on living a life like the one she had. She wanted something else, something more, and she fought the norms and fought worldly logic to get it. She followed a widow to a strange land probably with the thought that she would live out her life serving her–what part of worldly logic would say that this was a spectacular idea?

How often are we hyperfocused on X, Y, or Z that we forget that there is Someone else providing blessings more than we have in mind? How often do we look around us at what everyone else seems to have and we think we need? How often are we Orpah, going back to the familiar, the ordinary, instead of going down the road less traveled in order to obtain the extraordinary?

I have been unbelievably jetlagged this entire week, waking up around 4 am every morning–something I usually don’t have issues with when I’m traveling–and I 100% believe this has been God trying to speak these words to me. After an hour of tossing and turning I finally decided to get up, open my Bible, and just read anything. As I pulled open my Bible, I don’t know why but I thought, I really want to read about Ruth right now, and with that God gave me the following reminder: no matter what my circumstance, no matter where I am or how uncertain I feel like things are, when I leave behind all my notions of what makes sense logically and hold onto the certainty of His love for me, He will fulfill every desire in my heart, often in an unexpected way.

fearless-warriorLet’s be fearless warriors like Ruth. Let’s not look back. Let’s not hold out for what the world is trying to offer. Let’s embrace the winding road before us with the certainty of God’s grace rather than the uncertainty of the turns ahead. Just look up, and what you will get from above will be worth so much more than what you thought you wanted.

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Hello, Is It Me You’re Looking For?

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It’s taken me two months, but I’m finally starting to feel like me again.

These last few months I’ve been on a hard, broken road, without any level ground in sight. But finally, finally, I am becoming myself again.
It hasn’t been easy, and there have been days I’ve wanted to quit, to give up, to throw in the towel. But now? Now I have hope. Now I have happiness. Now I have the will to live life the way I should.

How?

A little bit of coffee and a whole lot of Jesus.

When all the chaos started in my life I denied it. I fought tooth and nail against everything that was happening. I was fighting those I loved. I was fighting God. I was fighting myself. I refused to believe that things were spiraling the way they were.
Well guess what happened. Things just got worse. Outside and inside.

Then I surrendered everything to Jesus. I gave Him the situation. I gave Him my desires. I gave Him my heartbreak, my shame, my hurt.
It wasn’t an overnight difference, but from the moment I decided to give it all to Jesus and to fill my time with Him, He started the healing process.

And yeah, I’ve still got a ways to go, but for the first time in months I’m finally beginning to feel like Marina again, to feel like the daughter of the King.

I am valuable. I am royal. I am loved.
And I know it because I have allowed the grace of God to pour into my life by giving it all up to Him.

What is keeping you from discovering your value and purpose?

What is God telling you to give up to Him?

It’s time to live our lives as the royalty that we are. It is time to surrender all to the King so He can lift us higher than we thought possible.

Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, dies no more. Death no longer has dominion over Him. (‭Romans‬ ‭6‬:‭8-9‬)

Take My Heart Rebuild It, My Soul Reignite It

The law of the LORD is perfect, converting [restoring] the soul -Psalm 19:7

How often do I pray and beg for God to restore my soul? How often do I say that I need a change of heart? How about every time I pray the conclusion of every hour–“sanctify my soul”? I say I want all of these things, but when it comes down to it, what am I doing on my end to obtain it?

Like everything else, grace comes from God. In the end, it’s all impossible without God’s grace. And like everything else, there’s a teeny tiny part for me to do as well. This verse is giving me the answer: “the law of the LORD…restoring the soul”. What does this mean to me? The law of God, His statutes, His testimonies, they will enable me to change my soul, to restore it to glory.

This is not just not committing adultery or not lying or stealing. This is the law that should be present in my everyday life–my canon–my spiritual rule. The only way to keep the connection open to receive God’s grace is by carrying out my spiritual rule.
For those of you who have been following me since my old blog, you know I love this topic. For everyone else, or even if you’d like to refresh yourself on what a spiritual rule entails, click here to read more. 

The only way to expect a restoration, a change in the desires of my heart, is by keeping the connection open. After all, isn’t that why nothing could get me down in Kenya? Anytime there was a hint of sadness creeping in, I ran to my Bible, I leaped to my agpeya. Never has my communication with Papa been stronger. The last few months, I’d personally been slack. I blamed it on my boards examination, and although that really isn’t a good excuse, boards are over. God blessed me with this huge revival the last couple weeks, and it’s time to build on it, not sink back into laziness.

So it’s time to make every day a Kenyan day. Once I do this, my words and my heart’s desires will truly be acceptable in the eyes of the Lord:
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer (v. 14).

I will leave you with a link to my good friend’s song inspiring the title of this post: